The Tales of Infinity

Have you ever feel that you are
someone else to yourself, you dont recognize who you are anymore, start to be
confuse of your own being, and do something that is against your life
principle? If your answer is yes, well. You’re not alone.

 im on the stage of discovering my
inner self.. as the matter of fact, i dont recognize the gurl whom i see in the
mirror anymore. im totally a stranger to myself.

Last month, my friend asked me to
fill out an interactive psychological quiz (it was a Johari window), and the
purpose of the quiz was to find our personality awareness, thank God that we’re
indeed, has this part of self that are unknown even to ourselves that might be
discovered or ngga pernah ketauan ever.

I just find out that we are a
mystery to ourselves, and as i discover a lot of things about my inner being, I
started to be amazed with ‘em. my reactions in handling things, how I cud be so
emotional, how I cud be so strong, so weak and sentimental..

Yea, until a big rock hit me
really hard and forced me to dispense my inner self that is hidden inside, I have
never known what kind of person I truly am. Ngeri ngga sihhh? I think it is
sooo menakutkan. If I don’t even recognize myself completely, How cud I recognize others..? You know those Indonesians who seem to be “ok ok aja”
tau nya hati kesel.. or those who “shout in your face” just to show their
power.. but yeaps, i have learnt that emang sometimes eventho hati lagi kesel, you just have to
put on your smiley mask on your face..

Ah Well, so much for human
complex. I had enuff.

Anyway, sum people keep on forcing
me to tell them what happened to me.. it was simply a strom.. gloomy month I
had on Jan and Feb…

Bener bener, “what a way to begin
a year..” when everything goes WRONG, hati kacau, where i still have to excel at  sKuL, ga ada excuse to mess-up my duties.. my boss dont compromise my heart condition.. duhhh bener bener butuh dOkter!!! dokter cinta, dokter yang bisa ngehibur, meng-comfort, yg cakep.. (haha, yea rite).

yaaah, but it’s all good now. i passed the heaviest storm in life so farrr,  uh huh, Thank GOD i have Jesusssss. ah, how could i live without You.

After this heavy break down, I
decided to help myself resting hati, jiwa, raga, and especially my brain. I
seriously need to go on a vacation.

I am still in the middle of choosing where to go. The
options are between the two,

London or Atlanta. I was ready to
book the ticket to London tapi hati tiba tiba kurang sejahtera euy.. “abis baru aja
melewati stormy sea.. kalo pegi jauh kesan nya pelampiasan banget sih.. malah
malah ngga enjoy… bukan nya klo pegi harus pas hati senang?? Apalagi kalo
disana banyak shopping-an.. euh, bisa bisa jadi ngga niat ngapa-ngapa in gara
gara hati lagi not in the mood.” …. tenang ger, i will go there koqq one day.. hold on ok..

Nah, Atlanta.
Aaahhh.. I miss Atlanta wayyy too much. The city offers too many beautiful places, the warm, pleasant,
lovely people.. awww, especially my beloved best friends who make me feel
belong.. ifgf church!!!bottom line, I miss everything and everyone in Atlanta.

sooo, any suggestion of where i should go??

Eva once said to me.. “teeeph
kenapa pindah ke SF??? Gile Atlanta enakkk bangetttt, gua suka bangettttt… ada One – Two – Mozart – (Moses yah Va??) hehe” duh
im crossing my finger deh, I really wanna go there… but since I just moved to a
new apartment, jadi nya brasa sibuk aja, my stuffs are all over the
place, whereas winter break is just around the corner. Pegi vacation or beresin
apartment??

Definitely: VACATION!! Haha.

finally, i can write this long. thanks you for mr. "Russell Pieter" who tells me just too many garinkkk jokes. ia dehhh, you are garink in a way, tapi cukup menghibur koqqqq. haha. you need me to prove it: saya suda kembali bersinar dan berpijar seperti dulu kaLa.. i can use my Laugh Out Loud icon lagi, yea???