constructive skepticism
"A lot of time, women have to behave and encompass a predetermined attitude for the reason that they have to accustom their attitude with the person next to them.."
enlighten me if it’s a conspiracy…
perhaps, only a few of you who know how I used to undergo the pressure of “a predetermined” manner/attitude. I did not dare, even with conviction, to bring it to the surface.
Until lately, I feel that, for sure, I had overcome this matter.
[confuse you not] =P
To make it clear, I put it this way.., imagine your self as president’s daughter, how do you think people will react to you? Nice, for sure.. =) but at the same time.. when you make a mistake; let’s say, get drunk at the cLub, acting silly. and apparently, there are some people who recognize who you are.. what do you think they’re going to say?
Just because you are president’s daughter.. Does that mean that you can’t make a mistake? No no.. that’s not what I mean.. im talking about the pressure of being president’s daughter..
Others will start to have “their own standard” on how president’s daughter is supposed to act. [Critics, judgments, pressures]
why? Because people expect you to be out of the ordinary..
and you don’t have the daughter of “someone” to feel the pressure.. the person next to you could be the “source of pressure from others” [hahaha.. I sound it so bad] well, but yeah, your sister,brother,husband,wife, [can I say] boyfriend.. ?? hehehe.., and even yourself.. could be the reason why others have sort of a "predetermined" attitude of how you should behave [act and say].. i heard so many stories from friend whose sister is very smart, and feeL so much pressure cause people expect her to be "as smart" as her sister.. or one whose brother is very easy going, and others start tO questioning when he’s not.. what’s up with stereotyping, gals..
i wanna share that i used to feel the pressure.. it’s not my brO,sis.. it’s somebOdy eLse =P
but yeah.. i feel irritated, offensed, and angry when people started to expect me to be "like this and that" and end up criticized my attitude…
i dont have to mention whO is "the people next to me" that made me feel that way, do i? =P
but After those “defensive-angry” days of mine.. I feel tired of my self.. that was when I felt that the world was partly unfair..
I bear in mind, thOse nights, when my tears just fell down at night sampe ketiduran and bikin puLaO on my pillow.. haha.. i kept on searching the reason why i cried..
Im one of believers who say that "for girls, it’s ok to cry without knowing the reason why we cry.. hehe” eventhO’ finally I found out the reason,
if you happen to know the feeling of "loOkin so big but yet feel so small, lookin sO smart but substantively feel brainless, lookin happy with tears inside the heart, lookin mature in spirit, but feel so childish." That was really what I used to feel.. =) felt like I was a tiny brainless meaningless somebody who carried so much pressures and failed to meet people’s expectations..
but one night when I felt so dOwn, I got this verse..
"The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." [Proverbs 12:15]
"i feel soooooo small….. so farrr from what others think of me .. i need God… cant handle this alone.. God.. change me, forgive my “defensive-offensive heart".
“How many times have i BrOken Your Heart, still YOU forgive if only i ask…” [hillsong]
I just can’t count of how many times I Thanked God for reminding me of this.. Thank Him for softening my heart and comforting this soul.. for telling me that I have to learn to listen to advices and accepting critics..
and nOw.. as im here writing these.. i cant just stop thinking of ppl and thank them for their expectations onto me..
constructive skepticism.. has changed my perspective.
if earlier, i perceived others’ expectations as pressures, at the very moment i tHaNk God that now, i can see it as a goal to achieve.
im really thankful that now, i can freely laugh, dont have to "jaga image", still be my own true self.. but yet strive my best to reacH those expectation.. by applying these "constructive skepticism" coz i wanna get cLoser and Closer tO the "perfection".. the image of God.. a woman who is spiritually mature.. have great manner.. and become a blessing..
yet, im still silly me, gimana atuh.. i dont wanna change that "cute" side of me..hehehe.. anYone keberatan???
ow ow btw, constructive skepticism is "willing to accept…
